tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-302214242011-04-21T17:54:00.909-07:00The world's premier blog dedicated to publishing humor about environmentalists, activists and protestors. You know who they are.citizendefenderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10781560284975006375noreply@blogger.comBlogger131100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30221424.post-1155000403585379612006-08-07T18:12:00.000-07:002006-08-07T18:26:44.763-07:00

It came to pass that one day, God and Satan were once again discussing current affairs. This time around, God was the first to initiate complaints about the state of the universe. "You recall we agreed it would be good to create environmentalists," God said, "in order to turn them away from falsely blaming us for all their losses, grief, disasters, and catastrophes. I'm starting to regret that.""

citizendefenderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10781560284975006375noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30221424.post-1153449065954262612006-07-20T19:25:00.000-07:002006-07-21T18:05:51.686-07:00

While patrolling the sunny South Pacific looking for food shipments to block, an activist at the wheel of the luxury yacht "Golden Sunfish" expires from cardiac insufficiency. In the same moment, he finds himself standing alone in an area marked 'Departures,' with doors labeled 1, 2 and 3. As the activist stands there wondering what is going on, a devil appears."This place is Hell," the devil

citizendefenderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10781560284975006375noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30221424.post-1153189332568609192006-07-17T19:16:00.000-07:002006-08-07T18:34:14.290-07:00

A regular guy walks into a bar. It looks like a friendly place, because there are three guys lined up in front of the beer taps swapping jokes. So he sits down, orders a beer from the bartender, and waits for a break in the laughter."Hey," says the regular guy, "did you hear the one about the environmentalist, the anti-globalist and the organic farmer who all flunked the class in biology?"One of

citizendefenderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10781560284975006375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30221424.post-1152326734646758202006-07-07T19:40:00.000-07:002006-07-07T19:56:48.466-07:00

A professor of psychology was nearing the end of a seminar in advanced psychology and to challenge the students, he proposed a set of symptoms and asked the students to suggest a diagnosis."How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair writing morose essays predicting doom?"Melissa raised her hand. "A manic depressive?

citizendefenderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10781560284975006375noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30221424.post-1151979679282846972006-07-03T19:16:00.000-07:002006-07-05T15:12:53.450-07:00

Gaia's Organic Offerings (GOO) and Splendid Luscious Organic Provisions (SLOP) were fierce rivals for a major market share in the stupendously, amazingly, unbelievably fast-growing organic food industry. This was reflected in the fierce animosity between the CEOs of the two companies, Julius Jauch and Samuel Sterco, who never missed an opportunity to embarrass each other. The two were so evenly

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One Saturday afternoon, a family of organic farmers went to the local farm store to get a few things for the next crop season. The father bought a new manure fork and a new pair of tall neoprene rubber boots for each member of the family. The mother bought a new hoe for each member of the family. The son dug into what he'd saved from his allowance and bought a cap with the Monsanto logo on its

citizendefenderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10781560284975006375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30221424.post-1151809177398271712006-07-01T19:54:00.000-07:002006-07-01T20:40:18.643-07:00

There was a farmer who had a herd of pigs. One day an activist came to the farm and asked the farmer: "What do you feed your pigs?""Well," said the farmer, "It's important to feed them what's been scientifically shown to be the best diet. They get a mixture of corn meal, soy meal, milled oats and vitamin supplements. Why do you ask?"Well," the activist said, "I represent a coalition of the

citizendefenderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10781560284975006375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30221424.post-1151764404053310662006-07-01T07:28:00.000-07:002006-07-01T07:33:24.063-07:00

A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first," he said. "What does your mother do all day?"Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor.""That's wonderful. How about you, Anne?"Anne stood up, looked briefly at her feet, and said, "My father delivers pizza.""Thank you, Anne," said the teacher. "What about your father, Billy?"Billy bolted

citizendefenderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10781560284975006375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30221424.post-1151710613214953792006-06-30T16:34:00.000-07:002006-07-21T18:09:23.680-07:00

An activist whose specialty was warning about the imminent extinction of the human race decided to make a dramatic statement by purchasing his tombstone in advance. So he went to a stonecutter, and after choosing the grandest monument available, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it.The activist had already chosen his epitaph, and without hesitation, replied, "Here lies

citizendefenderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10781560284975006375noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30221424.post-1151503008513483502006-06-28T06:44:00.000-07:002006-06-30T16:41:42.970-07:00

One day, as God and Satan were discussing current affairs, Satan fell to complaining bitterly."You made the world so that it was not fair, and you made it so that most people would have to struggle every day, fight against their innate wishes and desires, and deal with all sorts of losses, grief, disasters, and catastrophes," Satan said. "Yet people worship and adore you. People fight, get

citizendefenderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10781560284975006375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30221424.post-1151332244179047032006-06-26T07:27:00.000-07:002006-06-26T07:30:44.190-07:00

A doctor, an engineer, and an environmental activist were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions they represented.The doctor said, "Remember, on the sixth day God took a rib from Adam and fashioned Eve, making him the first surgeon. Therefore, medicine is the oldest profession."The engineer disagreed. "But, before that, God created the heavens and earth from

citizendefenderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10781560284975006375noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30221424.post-1151239262727728322006-06-25T05:29:00.000-07:002006-07-21T18:11:52.693-07:00

Seeking novelty, a weary native of Seattle, Washington USA wandered by accident into a back-alley antique shop in the city where he discovered an intricate, strangely compelling brass sculpture. The sculpture, depicting a lawyer brandishing a briefcase and a handful of business cards, was so unique that he asked the shop owner about its price."Twelve dollars for the lawyer, sir," said the shop

citizendefenderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10781560284975006375noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30221424.post-1151206005538186732006-06-24T20:25:00.000-07:002006-06-24T20:26:45.540-07:00

The devil visited an activist and made him an offer. "I can arrange some things for you," the devil said. "I'll get you millions of dollars in foundation grants, millions of dollars from taxpayers, millions of dollars from voluntary supporters, political influence everywhere, and all the media attention you want. All I require in return is death, disease and poverty for tens of millions of men,

citizendefenderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10781560284975006375noreply@blogger.com2